When my parents separated just over 11 years ago, my visits to my Memere and Pepere dwindled significantly. At first my Mom would still go over to visit them and then she stopped. When she did, I pretty much did too. She always encouraged me to go and visit them but I never did. It was strange going over to their house without my parents. I don't know why. It's not like I didn't bike over to their house by myself as a kid. Why would it feel strange as an adult? I think I was always afraid that because of their ages, they wouldn't remember me.
My Mom always told me that one day when they've passed away I would feel guilty for not visiting them more often. She was right. After finding out yesterday, it's exactly what I've been feeling after sadness.
It's been a really, really long time since I've seen either of them. It breaks my heart that the next time I see my Pepere will be at his funeral. How am I ever going to forgive myself for this? Even though I'm not expecting my Memere to remember me (she is 97 or 98), I can't wait to give her a hug and tell her I love her. I wish I could do the same with my Pepere. Lesson learned.
May you rest in peace Pepere. Je t'aime.
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