Helicopter Parent: It’s a term for parents who believe their child is so vulnerable — to injury, to teasing, to disease and disappointment — that they have to sort of hover (like a helicopter) over the child, ready to swoop in if anything remotely “bad” happens.
Free Range Parent: Common sense parenting. Letting your child do things he can when he shows he is ready to.
I've been really struggling lately. Especially since the weather has become nicer. With the weather being nicer, the neighborhood kids are out and around a lot more playing. Although I would love to be outside for 3+hour stretches at a time, what is becoming every single day, I just can't do it. I've started to wonder when it is okay to let your kids outside to play in your own yard/driveway without being there hovering. I have started to let Jack out to play without my direct supervision. His full time supervision has been downgraded to semi-supervised. There can be anywhere from 2-7 kids ranging in ages from 4-8 outside at any given time. Some of these kids are neighbors and others from down the street in both directions. They tend to congregate here at our place or next door. I go and check on things every 10-15 minutes, sometimes with just a quick head count and up date on where the other kids have gone and sometimes I just peek out, make sure everything is okay and say nothing. Jack has done well with this. He stays in the yard as asked. He always comes when I call him. He continues to play well with others. He enjoys himself and has fun.
I do not do this yet with Oliver. He is too much of a wild card. It's hard because his time outside is a little more limited having to be directly supervised still. Poor pumpkin.
Some of you might not agree, and think that 6 is too young but I don't think so. I could play the "what if" game but I don't see anything productive in playing that game because "what if nothing happens and he's missed out on all that fun for nothing".
I wonder at what age it will be okay for Jack to walk himself to school. When is it okay to ride your bike around the block on your own? I just don't know the answers to these questions. While I'm sure it will be different from one child to the next, how do you know when your child is ready. Jack has shown me through the times he has been outside on his own to play that he is very capable to do so.
I'm neither a helicopter parent or free-range parent. I don't know if I have it in me to be a free range parent, but I'm also working hard to put away my hover-mama tendencies. I'm somewhere in the middle, trying to find the perfect balance. What about you -- where do you fall on the protective parent continuum?
1 comment:
I like to fall somewhere in the middle...although with letting the kids play outside it's a tough call...it's not like when we were young. I remember being outside when I was 7 or 8 quite a lot with no supervision but times were different.
I've let my daughter, 5, play in the backyard alone but in front of the house not yet...although she knows the rules of not running in the road I've seen her forget and do it sometimes...and although our neighborhood is pretty safe these days I hate wondering if there's some crazy people out there driving around....sad how much life has changed from when we were young.
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