Breathing A Big Sigh of Relief

Back in January Jack had gotten sick.  He had made a complaint about his hip being sore.  Upon examination, I noticed he had a lump on his left upper thigh.  It was about the length of a lemon.  It was hard and tender to touch.  With that, we hopped in the car and went to the clinic.  The Drs response there was "well that's not normal, is it?"  and sent us for an x-ray with went smoothly and we scheduled an appt for an ultrasound.  That appt did not go very well.  Jack was freaked right now.  He was scared,  uncooperative, completely irrational.  She told me she could get two assistants to come and restrain him.  I told her to do whatever it is she needed to do and I left the room.  I could not sit there and witness that.  I sat in the little waiting room, Reed with me and I cried.  I felt horrible.  I felt so helpless.  He didn't end up needing to be restrained but the ultrasound didn't show anything.  We were referred to a pediatrician.  I knew this pediatrician from working in the group home and he is also the pediatrician at work in the children's clinic.  He was not concerned.  He figured Jack had probably injured himself and it was healing.  Although it had shrunk a lot in size, you could tell there was something still there.  It didn't look right.  It didn't feel right.  It didn't bother him.  That is, until he got sick again.  Whenever he would get sick or have a fever it would swell and be tender to touch.  The Dr decided to send us for another ultrasound.  He warned if it didn't show anything he would want Jack to have an MRI.  I was really nervous about his having this other ultrasound done.  He was really, really good though.  No drama.  No tears.  He was a big, brave boy.  Despite this, the test was inconclusive.  This meant an MRI would be necessary.  He had his MRI Wednesday.  He was again really, really, really good.  He was very brave.  He did all that was asked of him.  Until it was sprung on me that there was a very big chance that they would need to give Jack some contrasting solution and this would be done with a needle.  He didn't like that very much.  Much to the technician's embarrassement, because Jack moved and resisted so much, she wasn't able to give him enough solution and would need to give him another
needle.  I went into the room for that.  I hugged him, and comforted him until he had calmed down and semi-agreed to let them give him another needle.  A bribe with a trip to the toy store helped.  Just sayin'...He may or may not have a new Lego Ninjago toy. 
The doctor's office called today with the results.  She named it something but I couldn't tell you what for the life of me.  All I heard was "it isn't anything that you need to worry about.  You can choose to have it surgically removed.  This is something to discuss with the Doctor."  Good enough for me!  I will see the doctor at the beginning of September for Reed's well-baby check up so I will discuss it with him then.
My understanding is that it is soft, fatty tissue.  All I really care about is that it isn't anything serious.  Let's face it, all kinds of scenarios were playing through my head.  That is enough of the game "what is freakishly going on in my kids body?

Back to Work

It's been two full weeks now since I've gone back to work and the transition couldn't have gone more smoothly.  It of course helps we only need someone to watch the kids one day a week.  We have been able to work it out so Shawn is home with the kids two of the days I work.  This really helps keep down the cost of daycare.  We have been lucky enough to find someone who has recently graduated from ECE to come to our home to look after the boys.  It's way more affordable paying her by the hour then having them in a daycare.  Way less work for me than trying to find a daycare who can take all 3 kids, into the evening, only once a week or on an as needed basis if I want to pick up any shifts at work.  I like her.  The kids seem to like her.  Jack says he likes her and that she is good to them.  She told me she would like to gain more hands on experience.  My house is the perfect place for that.  I've got 3 boys all at different ages and stages and all with very different personalities.
Work has been going well.  I like my job.  I like it's lack of stress.  I like that I don't have to take my work home with me.  I like the hours I work.  I like the pay.  I guess I even like the people I work with.  Although it can get to be a little monotonous at times, overall I enjoy doing my job.  That has really helped with making going back so easy.  I do miss my boys though.  I like when I'm busy at work because it keeps my mind occupied.  It's once I get home that I realize just how much I missed them.  Especially because once I get home, it's time to tuck them into bed.  Then I have to wait until the morning to see them.  I'm glad I get a 3-day weekend every other weekend. 
I'm really grateful that I was able to stay home for the full year with all three of my kids.  I'm also very grateful that I get to spend as much time home with my kids as I do.  My work-family scale is pretty well balanced and I wouldn't trade it for anything.  Life is mostly pretty good right now.  Jack is asking to play a game.  Why do they ask these things of me so early in the morning?  Time to go and get my ass whopped in whatever game he decides to play.  Sadly, I don't have to let Jack win most of the games we play, he can just beat me. 

Happy 1st Birthday Reed

I wanted to have this done and posted for Reed's actual birthday which was Sunday, but then life got in the way and I didn't have time to get it finished. It's finished now and that is all that really matters, right?

Happy 1st Birthday Reed.  With tons of love! xo

My First Vegetable Garden

It finally feels like spring.  Although a little cold right now, it's nice that there is no more snow, that flowers are growing and leaves are blooming.  It's nice to look out the window and see green trees.  One sunny day last week, I was cleaning out a flower bed.  I am not greenthumb.  I don't really know a plant from a weed.  It was during this time that I thought to myself that since the flowerbed isn't being used aside from a few plants, I was going to try to grow a vegetable garden.  I dug out the few plants I knew weren't weeds and transplanted them to another flower bed, tilled the dirt, and added fresh soil.  Now it's time to get serious and plan out the garden and what I am going to try to grow.  I did buy some green beans, wax beans, carrots and baby cucumbers.  I will likely also get a tomato plant or two, maybe some peppers.  Since this is my first time trying to grow anything, I'm thinking that may be enough.  Should be an interesting process.  I'm not expecting much, if anything.  It doesn't hurt to try.  I will  have to learn through trial and error.

Helicopter Mom vs Free Range Parent and Finding Balance

Helicopter Parent:  It’s a term for parents who believe their child is so vulnerable — to injury, to teasing, to disease and disappointment — that they have to sort of hover (like a helicopter) over the child, ready to swoop in if anything remotely “bad” happens.

Free Range Parent:  Common sense parenting.  Letting your child do things he can when he shows he is ready to.

I've been really struggling lately.  Especially since the weather has become nicer.  With the weather being nicer, the neighborhood kids are out and around a lot more playing.  Although I would love to be outside for 3+hour stretches at a time, what is becoming every single day, I just can't do it.  I've started to wonder when it is okay to let  your kids outside to play in your own yard/driveway without being there hovering.  I have started to let Jack out to play without my direct supervision.  His full time supervision has been downgraded to semi-supervised.  There can be anywhere from 2-7 kids ranging in ages from 4-8 outside at any given time.  Some of these kids are neighbors and others from down the street in both directions.  They tend to congregate here at our place or next door.  I go and check on things every 10-15 minutes, sometimes with just a quick head count and up date on where the other kids have gone and sometimes I just peek out, make sure everything is okay and say nothing.  Jack has done well with this.  He stays in the yard as asked.  He always comes when I call him.  He continues to play well with others.  He enjoys himself and has fun. 
I do not do this yet with Oliver.  He is too much of a wild card.  It's hard because his time outside is a little more limited having to be directly supervised still.  Poor pumpkin. 
Some of you might not agree, and think that 6 is too young but I don't think so.  I could play the "what if" game but I don't see anything productive in playing that game because "what if nothing happens and he's missed out on all that fun for nothing".
I wonder at what age it will be okay for Jack to walk himself to school.  When is it okay to ride your bike around the block on your own?  I just don't know the answers to these questions.  While I'm sure it will be different from one child to the next, how do you know when your child is ready.   Jack has shown me through the times he has been outside on his own to play that he is very capable to do so. 
I'm neither a helicopter parent or free-range parent.  I don't know if I have it in me to be a free range parent, but I'm also working hard to put away my hover-mama tendencies. I'm somewhere in the middle, trying to find the perfect balance.  What about you -- where do you fall on the protective parent continuum?

Slacking

I have done nothing but be a slacker all month.  I've been neglecting many little corners of my life.
I had enough of the chaos that was surrounding me this week and went on a clean and purge bender.
I now have only the kitchen left to tackle and our bedroom closet.  It has felt very good.  Very refreshing.
I love freecycle because when I purge,  I put all the shit stuff I've collected into little lots, post them and people come and take it.  I don't have to go anywhere.  I don't have to do anything.  People just take it.  THANK YOU!   I've also unpacked from when I was at my Mom's last.  When was that you ask?  Oh the week of March Break.  If there is anything worse than packing, it's unpacking.  We tend to just live out of the suitcases once we get back home.
It's been a really long time since my kitchen floor has had a decent washing.  Spot wiping counts right?  Tell me it does.  Tell. Me. It. Does!  We very rarely ever eat at the kitchen table so it is just covered with a heaping pile of mess (eh Tiff).  Every time I clean it off I tell myself I'm not going to use it as a dumping ground.  That lasts until I have something in my hand I just want to put down and don't know what to do with. It's no wonder I've had to write Jack's teacher 2x this year to tell her I can't seem to find his sightwords (both times I found them buried under said crap on the table).  The second time, I also let her know that I lost my mind and couldn't find it either.   

Speaking of Jack.  He has lost two teeth.  His little toothless grin is very sweet.

He gets very excited when he finds a "piece of money" under his pillow.  The going rate for teeth these days seems to be a bit steep.  While "our" Tooth Fairy leaves only $2/tooth, the going rate apparently can be anywhere from $5-$20 to even a toy!  Seriously?  For a tooth?  I am unable to wrap my head around such a thing. 
My little Oliver.  Boy that kid is so cute.  With his big brown eyes and his sweet, little smile he could melt anyones heart.  He really is a sweet, caring and loving boy.  Honest.  He is also a little hellion.  He is at a frustrating age.  He's all "hey i'm a big boy" one minute and "i'm not a big boy" the next.  I've said it before and will say it again, the threes are horrible.  I don't believe there are "terrible twos".  I believe the threes are.  I often wonder how starting school is going to be for him.  He's still so little to me.  He is still going to be 3 when he starts school. 
Reed has finally cut a tooth.  He now has two teeth.  Took long enough.  Coincidence that every time Jack loses a tooth Reed sprouts one?  He has also figured out that he can move when up on all fours and not just rock back and forth although that seems to be his favorite thing to do.  He doesn't move far up on all fours but he can crawl.  He does know it is much faster to slither on his stomach so this is what he usually does. 
I'm working on getting him to use his pincer grasp.  He seems to be a little delayed in this area compared to the other two boys.  I know, don't compare the kids but I just feel like we should be beyond the raking and grasping.  I'm anxious for him to begin feeding himself and giving him real food.  I make a significant amount of my baby food so I know the food is "real" but I mean food that isn't mushed up together.  I guess I will just have to wait until he is ready. 
I have been completely neglecting my camera and haven't been taking many pictures of the kids.  I get mad at myself when I do this.  Goal for spring...take more pictures of the kids. 
Well school morning is calling so I should probably feed Jack some breakfast and make his lunch and all the fun things that go along with a school day. 

Cheers

It's Almost That Time

So holy shit.  It occured to me just the other day that I am due to return to work in (gasp), 3 more months!
I cannot believe that 1-Reed is 9 months old now (well days away from being) and that 2-It's almost that time.  The time to return to my other job.  My job that pays. 
Of course I can believe it's almost time because I've done this twice before but for some reason, the time seems to have gone by way faster this time around. 
With only 3 months to go, I should be getting on things like I don't know, maybe looking for daycare for the kids.  I have no idea how or where I am going to find daycare that is going to have an opening for 3 kids, is within walking distance to school and accomodates shift workers.  Oh, do I hear a near impossible?  Oh let me add to this list.  They won't be going full time.  They might not even need to go the same days every week This should be fun.  I do have a phone number for two home daycares that do accomodate shift work, and one of those is within walking distance of school.  I just don't know that they will be able to take all 3 kids.  It's hard looking right now too because I don't know what days exactly I will need someone.  I work part time (Mon, Wed, Thurs and every other Saturday).  Shawn is in the midst of starting a new job so I have no idea what his schedule is going to be like until his training is finished.  I think this is the beginning of April.  Oh that's cutting it close.  I'm hoping that between our two schedules, we can work it out so the kids don't need to go to daycare very often or at all.  I do however know that I am not looking forward to paying the daycare bill for 3 kids!!  Ouch.  It's going to hurt.  Lets all pray we can work it out so they go very little.  My bank account will thank you for those prayers. 
As much as I enjoy being home with the boys, I am also looking forward to going back to work.  I like my job.  I like the people I work with.  I like the time away from the kids.  This full time SAHM thing just isn't my cup of tea.  Working part time is a good balance.  I still get to be home with the kids during the day (I work evenings), 2 days a week plus every other Saturday and all Sundays plus I still get to go out and use my brain and skills outside of the house.  I couldn't ask for a better work arrangement while the kids are still small.